Yes as anyone who has read my blog, especially the Meatloaf article, or indeed knows me will know that if there is one show I saw that I could not stand it was We Will Rock You.
Now I think I should start this article by explaining that I do not dislike Queen's music, it is not an issue with the music its my disdain for the actual book and perhaps to a certain aspect the performance that got my blood boiling. No Queen are my favourite band of all time, perhaps this jaded me to the show, and Freddie Mercury is the best front man of all time in my eyes. Transcending several different genres of Rock, Queen had done progressive style rock, heavy metal, rockabilly, punk rock, hard rock, ballad rock... the list goes on and on. For me hearing them and seeing their live footage at the age of 11 made a light go on in my head and I realised and discovered Rock music through them. Their music influenced so many and has garnered them multitudes of fans worldwide, in 2007 they were even declared the greatest British Rock Band of all time by listeners of BBC Radio 2, they have spent 27 years on the charts with their albums (longer than any other band) and their greatest hits album is the biggest selling album of all time in the British charts. When you take all this into account, no wonder they created a musical based on their music. With such a huge built in audience, they would have been stupid not to.
So Queen are a successful band with a back catalogue of huge hits, what could possibly go wrong? My answer is Taylor + May with Ben Elton did not work. Roger Taylor and Brian May have been touting themselves and performing as Queen since the retirement of John Deacon in 1997. Since Deacon left they have made a lot of decisions that have pimped the Queen name out and tarnished their legacy, at least in my mind, as a rock band. They even resurrected the band as a supergroup with that great Rock vocalist Paul Rodgers as lead vocals, with a voice that was nothing like Freddie's it just seemed like a bad cover band in sound but with great rock pedigree. The union between Elton and May/Taylor though would make me very excited when it was first announced and I was just hoping that I would get the chance to see it. Well luckily enough for me in 2003 my Dad bought us all tickets to see the show and I was really stoked. Its a real shame that reality didn't live up to the hype but why didn't it?
Ben Elton is someone I really respect because of the quality of his work on The Young Ones, his play Gasping and his many novels. However he wrote a real dud of a book for this musical. Of course me calling it a dud is not totally right, after all its a smash hit but artistically WWRY is a complete and utter blunder. The problem is that the script is dire, the story absurd and completely half baked. If you have seen the show and do not believe me then pick up Eltons novel from 2007 called ‘Blind Faith’ which is set in a similar type of world and the story is pulled off with much more finesse and logic. The problem is that the start of the show has some interesting but not rib ticklingly funny gags about the heroes of Rock who are slowly taken out and disposed of by the new governments who suppress the kids and their music with pop and electronica. This leads to in jokes about Taylor and May as well as other Rock legends. I giggled with trepidation when I saw this on the screens as I knew as an audience member it was my job to laugh but the material wasn’t funny. Things would go from bad to worse as the first number started with the ‘Ga Ga Kids’ singing… Radio Ga Ga. Sure it was a great musical chorus performance, after all this was a heavily financed production and I couldn’t fault the chorus but suddenly the music of Queen had lost its edge. Then I lost all willingness to be sitting in that theatre when the lead character named Gallileo, go figure, started singing ‘I want to Break Free’ whilst running up and down the width of the stage thrusting his hands at us and with a pleading look on his face. It was just awful and I felt embarrassed being there and I was so glad I wasn’t in the abomination I was watching. I wish I could say it didn’t get worse but it did, again and again and sadly yet again. When some run of the mill musical theatre actor with spiked up hair and a pure white grin is claimed to be the second coming of Freddie Mercury that makes Xtofer a mean boy. It made no sense, the fact that Ben Elton would in many ways rip off the Matrix is quite sad really and to then neuter the edginess of the story by putting in such asinine and unfunny pop culture references is appalling. The Matrix worked because it was not a defined time in the future, this shows cultural references are all set around 2001- present day and they are not funny. By the time the second act started I had made up my mind on the show, it would have to take a hell of a story to pull me back in. To say it didn’t would be an understatement, during this messy second act I was watching these two teenagers rampaging around going on and on about rock music before somehow going to Montreux, in Switzerland, where they found the statue of Freddie Mercury who was apparently pointing to Wembley Stadium the place of ‘The Living Rock’. Now there are two reasons I was mad at this, the first being the complete and utter idiocy of the two main characters travelling across Europe and just stumbling across some old hippy who tells them to go to Freddie’s statue and the second is that when Elton was writing this script the stadium was already closed with plans of demolition on hand. I know this is fiction but he basically made a redundant piece of architecture a main plot point. When the two leads reach Wembley they search for the secret stash of real instruments (do not ask it’s a headache) placed there by the three members of Queen, wow Deacon got respect from the other two, just before they were executed. They find an electric guitar for the big finale, play their rock music over the global net thing and defeat the bad guys. Rock and roll saves Earth sorry I mean ‘Planet Mall’ whoop de doo. Now this just filled me with apathy. The show ended to a huge round of applause as people cheered obviously entertained but then the pain didn’t end. We had smug actor after smug actor bounce out and just take what seemed like endless bow after bow. I am sorry but that’s not just a criticism of WWRY but of nearly all shows, the curtain calls run too long. Have 2 or maybe 3 at most otherwise why am I still clapping 3 or 4 minutes later? To satisfy some actors ego? Why? I paid my ticket so why should I feel I have to applaud for so long. Then they disappeared before the video screens flashed up ‘Do you want Bohemian Rhapsody?’ to which the people who enjoyed the show screamed yes. I was filled with terror and sadness, terror at the upcoming blandness that this rendition would surely be and sadness at how they could ruin a true musical masterpiece. It was an awful rendition and it was followed by yet more bowing. By the time I left the theatre I was furious. My sister however really enjoyed it, she has seen it twice more, my Mum who for some reason likes to know my opinion before making her own wasn’t really bothered and my Dad was just mad because he spent all that money and I didn’t really like it.
Now I know I have totally slated the show but can I just say that there are some things about the show I really liked. I think the best moment in the show is ‘No One But You’ is sung which is when the revolutionaries sing about the fallen rock stars and especially Freddie Mercury and it was sung so beautifully that I had a tear in my eye. The songs itself is a wonderful piece of writing and for any Queen fan it has a lot of significance so its probably not a surprise that it moved me. The set and lighting was brilliant and in many ways the best I had seen on the West End since Starlight Express back in 96. The Killer Queen was a brilliantly played panto villain, similar in vein to a Disney villain rather than a really evil and menacing foe. The theatre itself, the Dominion theatre is a beautiful building and it was a real pleasure to see a show in there.
So would I recommend a show that I hated? That the Guardian dubbed ‘really as sixth form as it sounds’ no I wouldn’t. Not unless you want to see an illogical piece of science fiction musical theatre with none of the tongue in cheek humour of the Rocky Horror Show. This one is strictly I would say for the 12-18 yr olds. It isn’t offensive, it’s a big spectacle and teens love it so it does its job, it doesn’t push our art forward but its not meant to. It’s a populist piece and when people look back on the noughties and musical theatre in London they will be more inclined to mention Wicked, Hairspray and Avenue Q as having more of an artistic impact, WWRY is just going to go down as smash hit and rightfully so.
Now if you won't take my word for how awful this show is then check out the official WWRY website right here.
I also want to say please check out this website for tickets.
Oh and of course please visit the Best Band Ever! At their official website:
If anyone wishes to comment or ask me a question or just contact me in general you can either post a comment below or email me.
Xtofer
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