Thursday 10 September 2009

It's been a long summer and what do I do now?

For those of you who were following this blog over the past couple of months I can only apologise for the lack of information or updates throughout August. During August I was involved in producing and performing my own piece of street theatre. We performed in Worthing to great success and interest from the local shoppers. I found the whole experience fun and rewarding in many ways and FP Theatre Productions in conjunction with The Idlers was given a big push into the minds of local people which is always good. There is however a part of me that feels deflated now the show is over and we have no other bookings.

I don't believe it has anything to do with not having a project as I do have a new project to look at and ideas I want to develop, I believe it is because I have not reached a 10th of my potential and I feel like I have wasted myself over the past 2 years since graduating from University. During my time at University I was lucky enough to have several chances to work with some phenomenal talents, one of whom trusted the University enough to let me direct in his theatre. That man is Alistair O'Loughlin one of the founders of Prodigal Theatre the foremost creators of new theatre in the country and their developmental resources for companies is amazing. Alistair and I first met when I was 17 and instantly made a huge impact on my life as a performer by telling me that everything I believed about myself being a good actor was rubbish, he talked about how I had probably had a talent for acting as a child and had been doing it for years but that, as he put it, having the flower of talent is not enough as you have to make sure you have the tools for the craft of acting. From that day I changed my attitude and went forward gung ho and sucking in as much information on how to create effective characters, I listened to his style, to his teachings and worked hard to improve myself. I excelled under his tutelage and my grades for the units he taught me were the highest i had on my Diploma. Two years later I got the chance to direct at his theatre and he gave me the only piece of advice he could give me (he was unavailable for the majority of the rehearsal and development period) which was to look up Metatheatre. I looked but found little i understood, overwhelmed and under prepared for the situation of running a group of actors in creating a piece of theatre i completely mucked up. It is more than fair to say I lost control of the situation and that version of 'Don Juan Returns from the War' at the Nightengale Theatre Brighton was not good and definately not the right calibre of work he expected. I didn't speak to Alistair again but the things he has said and his continued work has stayed with me and for the valuable lesson he taught me all those years ago I feel guilty at letting his theatres reputation down. Yet now I believe his impact on me has continued by motivating me to understand Metatheatre, to look more at alternative types of theatre such as mediatheatre and older art forms such as Bauhaus performance art and it drives me to create my own work. I see what he has done and I want to do it. Too long I have been part time and now I am going to go full time with this. I need success in the theatre field, I crave it. I want legitimacy as an artist and I have something to say, at the moment i do not know what it is but I can feel it inside. Nobody knows me as well as I know myself and nobody understands my passion. University gave me everything i needed to express myself now I need money and backing and venues, rehearsal spaces etc to make it possible to show my passion to the world.

I know this post has seemed rambly but this is an issue i feel so passionate about I cannot help myself. I need to still train, I know barely anything even people like Alistair are still learning new things about their art and themselves, its an ongoing process which I halted for a year and now I have to continue and work at it harder than ever before. So my training restarts today with the work of Keith Johnstone. If you ever have the chance to read his work please do its fascinating.

For the next post I will be starting my first list of my top ten musical sequences.

See you soon.

Chris