Retro Rant! A Show I hated... We Will Rock You! Or how is this show still running?

Yes as anyone who has read my blog, especially the Meatloaf article, or indeed knows me will know that if there is one show I saw that I could not stand it was We Will Rock You.

Now I think I should start this article by explaining that I do not dislike Queen's music, it is not an issue with the music its my disdain for the actual book and perhaps to a certain aspect the performance that got my blood boiling. No Queen are my favourite band of all time, perhaps this jaded me to the show, and Freddie Mercury is the best front man of all time in my eyes. Transcending several different genres of Rock, Queen had done progressive style rock, heavy metal, rockabilly, punk rock, hard rock, ballad rock... the list goes on and on. For me hearing them and seeing their live footage at the age of 11 made a light go on in my head and I realised and discovered Rock music through them. Their music influenced so many and has garnered them multitudes of fans worldwide, in 2007 they were even declared the greatest British Rock Band of all time by listeners of BBC Radio 2, they have spent 27 years on the charts with their albums (longer than any other band) and their greatest hits album is the biggest selling album of all time in the British charts. When you take all this into account, no wonder they created a musical based on their music. With such a huge built in audience, they would have been stupid not to.

So Queen are a successful band with a back catalogue of huge hits, what could possibly go wrong? My answer is Taylor + May with Ben Elton did not work. Roger Taylor and Brian May have been touting themselves and performing as Queen since the retirement of John Deacon in 1997. Since Deacon left they have made a lot of decisions that have pimped the Queen name out and tarnished their legacy, at least in my mind, as a rock band. They even resurrected the band as a supergroup with that great Rock vocalist Paul Rodgers as lead vocals, with a voice that was nothing like Freddie's it just seemed like a bad cover band in sound but with great rock pedigree. The union between Elton and May/Taylor though would make me very excited when it was first announced and I was just hoping that I would get the chance to see it. Well luckily enough for me in 2003 my Dad bought us all tickets to see the show and I was really stoked. Its a real shame that reality didn't live up to the hype but why didn't it?

Ben Elton is someone I really respect because of the quality of his work on The Young Ones, his play Gasping and his many novels. However he wrote a real dud of a book for this musical. Of course me calling it a dud is not totally right, after all its a smash hit but artistically WWRY is a complete and utter blunder. The problem is that the script is dire, the story absurd and completely half baked. If you have seen the show and do not believe me then pick up Eltons novel from 2007 called ‘Blind Faith’ which is set in a similar type of world and the story is pulled off with much more finesse and logic. The problem is that the start of the show has some interesting but not rib ticklingly funny gags about the heroes of Rock who are slowly taken out and disposed of by the new governments who suppress the kids and their music with pop and electronica. This leads to in jokes about Taylor and May as well as other Rock legends. I giggled with trepidation when I saw this on the screens as I knew as an audience member it was my job to laugh but the material wasn’t funny. Things would go from bad to worse as the first number started with the ‘Ga Ga Kids’ singing… Radio Ga Ga. Sure it was a great musical chorus performance, after all this was a heavily financed production and I couldn’t fault the chorus but suddenly the music of Queen had lost its edge. Then I lost all willingness to be sitting in that theatre when the lead character named Gallileo, go figure, started singing ‘I want to Break Free’ whilst running up and down the width of the stage thrusting his hands at us and with a pleading look on his face. It was just awful and I felt embarrassed being there and I was so glad I wasn’t in the abomination I was watching. I wish I could say it didn’t get worse but it did, again and again and sadly yet again. When some run of the mill musical theatre actor with spiked up hair and a pure white grin is claimed to be the second coming of Freddie Mercury that makes Xtofer a mean boy. It made no sense, the fact that Ben Elton would in many ways rip off the Matrix is quite sad really and to then neuter the edginess of the story by putting in such asinine and unfunny pop culture references is appalling. The Matrix worked because it was not a defined time in the future, this shows cultural references are all set around 2001- present day and they are not funny. By the time the second act started I had made up my mind on the show, it would have to take a hell of a story to pull me back in. To say it didn’t would be an understatement, during this messy second act I was watching these two teenagers rampaging around going on and on about rock music before somehow going to Montreux, in Switzerland, where they found the statue of Freddie Mercury who was apparently pointing to Wembley Stadium the place of ‘The Living Rock’. Now there are two reasons I was mad at this, the first being the complete and utter idiocy of the two main characters travelling across Europe and just stumbling across some old hippy who tells them to go to Freddie’s statue and the second is that when Elton was writing this script the stadium was already closed with plans of demolition on hand. I know this is fiction but he basically made a redundant piece of architecture a main plot point. When the two leads reach Wembley they search for the secret stash of real instruments (do not ask it’s a headache) placed there by the three members of Queen, wow Deacon got respect from the other two, just before they were executed. They find an electric guitar for the big finale, play their rock music over the global net thing and defeat the bad guys. Rock and roll saves Earth sorry I mean ‘Planet Mall’ whoop de doo. Now this just filled me with apathy. The show ended to a huge round of applause as people cheered obviously entertained but then the pain didn’t end. We had smug actor after smug actor bounce out and just take what seemed like endless bow after bow. I am sorry but that’s not just a criticism of WWRY but of nearly all shows, the curtain calls run too long. Have 2 or maybe 3 at most otherwise why am I still clapping 3 or 4 minutes later? To satisfy some actors ego? Why? I paid my ticket so why should I feel I have to applaud for so long. Then they disappeared before the video screens flashed up ‘Do you want Bohemian Rhapsody?’ to which the people who enjoyed the show screamed yes. I was filled with terror and sadness, terror at the upcoming blandness that this rendition would surely be and sadness at how they could ruin a true musical masterpiece. It was an awful rendition and it was followed by yet more bowing. By the time I left the theatre I was furious. My sister however really enjoyed it, she has seen it twice more, my Mum who for some reason likes to know my opinion before making her own wasn’t really bothered and my Dad was just mad because he spent all that money and I didn’t really like it.

Now I know I have totally slated the show but can I just say that there are some things about the show I really liked. I think the best moment in the show is ‘No One But You’ is sung which is when the revolutionaries sing about the fallen rock stars and especially Freddie Mercury and it was sung so beautifully that I had a tear in my eye. The songs itself is a wonderful piece of writing and for any Queen fan it has a lot of significance so its probably not a surprise that it moved me. The set and lighting was brilliant and in many ways the best I had seen on the West End since Starlight Express back in 96. The Killer Queen was a brilliantly played panto villain, similar in vein to a Disney villain rather than a really evil and menacing foe. The theatre itself, the Dominion theatre is a beautiful building and it was a real pleasure to see a show in there.

So would I recommend a show that I hated? That the Guardian dubbed ‘really as sixth form as it sounds’ no I wouldn’t. Not unless you want to see an illogical piece of science fiction musical theatre with none of the tongue in cheek humour of the Rocky Horror Show. This one is strictly I would say for the 12-18 yr olds. It isn’t offensive, it’s a big spectacle and teens love it so it does its job, it doesn’t push our art forward but its not meant to. It’s a populist piece and when people look back on the noughties and musical theatre in London they will be more inclined to mention Wicked, Hairspray and Avenue Q as having more of an artistic impact, WWRY is just going to go down as smash hit and rightfully so.

Now if you won't take my word for how awful this show is then check out the official WWRY website right here.

I also want to say please check out this website for tickets.

Oh and of course please visit the Best Band Ever! At their official website:

Queen Online

If anyone wishes to comment or ask me a question or just contact me in general you can either post a comment below or email me.

Xtofer

'Brevity is the Soul of Wit' A Lesson Once Learned It's Never Forgotten

Shakespeare said it in Hamlet: Brevity is the Soul of Wit. He was of course completely correct. My own experience of this proverb being true came in a both brilliant yet highly embarassing moment during my training.

It happened at the beginning of my Foundation Degree at Northbrook College, we were being brought together as a year group all the cross discipline classes, from dance, musical theatre, physical theatre and acting groups. The idea of these workshops were for us to bond and get comfortable working with different skill sets. One of the workshops was clowning, we had to look at the basics of both physical clowning and the relationship between historical clowns and the stereotypical modern view of clowns. Then after the first workshop we had to go away and create our own clown, create a persona a costume and a physical style. My clown was very much in my mind a mish mash tramp in the same type of vein as Charlie Chaplin, I really wish I could clown like the master Chaplin, except this tramp wore an army helmet. Dressed in a torn and worn M&S blazer, dirty and scuffed jeans, broken trainers and an army helmet plus a red nose I did look amusing I suppose but at the time I thought it was a good costume. The persona came from my knowledge of how pro wrestlers, another form of clown in my mind [article on such beliefs coming soon], who were really effective created their characters as enlarged versions of their own personas. For me that was the way to go and so I boosted the one aspect of my personality I believed was detrimental to a clown but by making it my main trait it would subvert the concept of an outgoing clown. So I became a shy, shrinking wallflower of a clown. I wouldn't talk unless spoken too, I would try to stay out of things and I would always be watching with intent. It worked and I felt the workshops were going well and I was learning and gaining confidence in my physical acting. Then our tutor told us we had to come up with an act for an audition to get our clowns into his metaphorical circus act. I had one thought going through my head and it was panic.

I can spin plates, juggle balls and even clubs (although I am quite rusty) so it was a question of what to do. I went into the audition questioning myself as to whether I could continue with my character or not and when it was my turn to go up out of the room and re-enter with my 'bit' I literally had no idea what I was going to do. I was outside waiting to knock on the door when inpiration hit. I knocked on the door strolled in and said...

"Excuse me, is this the room for the job interview regarding the caretakers position?"

Light confused laughter broke out and the tutor played along by saying no. So I sighed and replied.

"Terribly sorry about that, thank you though" and promptly walked out the room to bigger laughs and a round of applause. I felt like I was walking on air and when I went outside I felt emboldened enough to go back in and continue with another bit of 'comedy'. This atrocious bit was me auditioning and saying what I do not do, basically saying that I turn up dressed as a clown and that was my act. This time there were no laughs and it wasn't clever. I could feel myself dying as I tried to get my peers to laugh or find me amusing at least. Instead I felt that death knell of comedic acting and writing, apathy. It was just flowing and people looked bored. I then got my feedback from tutor. He told me that the gag about the job interview was a perfect clowning gag and that was all I needed to do. It was then I found out that brevity truly is the soul of wit. Shakespeare was right 400 years ago and today he is still right... is there anything this man couldn't do?

So remember, why try a long and convoluted piece when a short sharp and funny piece of comedy will work better? I learnt the hard and humiliating way, you don't have to.

A Meatloaf Bat Out of Hell Musical? Is it really happening?

So yet again the other day LibraryGirl and I were chatting and we were talking about music and Meatloaf came up. We got onto the subject of how come there is no Meatloaf musical or if there is why hasn't it been put on in London? Well a quick google search showed that there isn't but there is a few articles and buzzes about it. Then suddenly a memory stirred of huge posters with a gothic looking Toya Wilcox on proclaiming that they had the music of Meatloaf in their musical, this was a piece put together and developed by Meatloaf impersonator Steve Steinman this was 'Vampire Rocks'. Vampires Rocks was a huge success when it debuted in 2006 as a Concert combining music of artists like Meatloaf, Queen, Rainbow and many others. It was so successful that it had an arena tour of which there is a dvd available. It has since evolved into a mix between a concert and musical with a storyline weaving throughout the performance. It is currently on tour throughout the UK and...

CHEAP PLUG: its coming to Worthing at the Pavillion Theatre on Fri 5th of November, tickets now on sale at the Box Office contact 01903 206206.

Thats not all Steve Steinman has also developed a brand new Meatloaf based show with a 40 piece orchestra to perform the Bat Out of Hell album in all its Wagnerian Rock glory. So there are shows out there but the official Bat Out of Hell musical is nowhere to be seen.

Reports on a Meatloaf musical started really surfacing with some clout in 2006 when the court battle between Meatloaf and Jim Steinman, the original writer and collaborator of Bat Out of Hell 1 and 2, regarding Bat Out Of Hell 3 gave Steinman the rights to use the songs to make a musical based on the music.

Steinman had previously used the music, rewriting the lyrics, of some of his Meatloaf lyrics for his highly successful European musical Tanz Der Vampire. However when the show was being developed and modified for the Broadway Stage as 'Dance of The Vampire' it used more Meatloaf tunes and was taken out of Steinmans hands and put into the hands of an inexperienced team of designers and directors. I won't go into much detail, for that please go to this excellent article from the nytimes, but it didn't end well. Steinman was burned by Broadway and this has probably to a certain extent led to him wanting to keep things under his control. Steinman has in the past had great success as a composer, after all Bat out of Hell has sold over 43 million copies so far, but not only has he created his own Rock genre through his work with Meatloaf but he has written musicals such as 'Whistle Down the Wind' alongside Lord Lloyd Webber. So when Steinman announces he is going to be putting on a musical based around his best selling album, barring any complicated half baked storyline by Ben Elton (I am looking at you 'We Will Rock You), I obviously get very excited. In a blogpost from July 2006 Steinman wrote this:

Jim Steinman's BAT OUT OF HELL: LIVE ON STAGE", what I can say is, subject to final agreements, CHOREGRAHER is MARK DENDY, who to me is "best in the world now"; Costumes are by Eiko (Coppola's "DRACULA" and many CIRQUE shows); SET AND THEATRE DESIGN BY MARK FISHER (Cirque "KA","LOVE", WE WILL ROCK YOU, Peter Gabriel, Pink Floyd etc.His site is stufish.com;) ANIMATION by the great GERALD SCARFE ("THE WALL" on film & stage, true genius, please see his site, "GeraldScarfe.com"); LIGHTING by MARC BRICKMAN (Springsteen, Pink Floyd, Peter Gabriel etc.). Im thrilled with this team! I'll announce more as it evolves.Direction is by WILSON MILAM (Tony award nominee for "THE LIEUTENNANT OF INNISHMORE", the first "splatter" stage show.)

Now reading the names involved excited me to the point of becoming obsessed with finding a definitive date and information regarding an opening or tour around the UK. I signed up to the official website which has nothing on it apart from a sign up form and I checked out Steinman's official website. I found nothing but further news releases. In 2008 there was article in Playbill in which Steinman claimed to be aiming for a 2008/2009 opening for the show in London, he also announced backing from Sony/BMG and that the set and lighting would be done by Industrial Light and Magic in their first ever stage design. This was later on followed by reports from the Mirror Newspaper that BBC presenter, X Factor Finalist and Classical singer Rhydian was to be cast in the musical. Then there was a very strange article, which I found that adds to my perplexion as it makes me doubt the validity of his work and whether or not this project is ever happening. Taken from this page this is the statement.

The APOLLO VICTORIA is probably our theatre choice! We’ll be replacing WICKED there. Its a gr8 theatre in a gr8 location! (Our final “due diligence” concerns making sure there’s ROOM ENUF for sets, 3D visuals, parkour, motorcycles, massive dance pieces,gymnastics, etc. We WERE going to build our own theatre, but the big problem was NO ROOM IN LONDON AT ALL for it and we did want to start there! Since things Arent finalized, anything can change, but the possibility of major involvement & funding from SONG/BMG or WARNERS, artistic involvement of ILM in their FIRST stage venture, and Stephen Clarke all make me really stoked. As far as financing goes, all is ahead of schedule!

Now I am sorry but this statement made me seriously question whether this show is going to actually happen due to the fact that Steinman claims they will be replacing Wicked. Wicked is one of the biggest West End successes of the past 10 years and it still packs in a huge audience everynight, its box office appeal is obviously strong as you never really see cheap seats for the show. In fact according to wikipedia Wicked is booked through to the 30th of April 2011 and has a major cast change this month. So either Steinman was talking about something he knew nothing about, hoping to cause some publicity and get people talking then I don't know what he was thinking. Building their own theatre would have been a bad idea, London isn't Vegas and has too many historical theatres for there to be any new ones. If he is adamant about building a theatre though he has to wait for one in London to be knocked down as they are the current rules regarding theatre building in the capital. The show sounds like a massive undertaking with a real spectacle aspect to it and as such a normal theatre is not going to be good enough for this piece in this writers opinion. My advise to Steinman is that he should take his idea to the o2 and take up residency there for say 3-4 months. If Steve Steinman could get his tribute concert/musical to tour stadium dates and arenas and pack them out then there is no reason it wouldn't work at the o2. Of course at the end of the statement he talks about financing, now presuming the previous statement in playbill about Sony/BMG backing the project was right it could be that during the recession that they backed out as it was seen as too much of a loss at a time when everyone was worrying about the state of things to come. Some may say that Sony is such a huge force in the music industry it wouldn't come to that, well EMI is $3 billion in the hole so I think in this economy Sony would have no problem cutting costs by dropping live show developments. So going through the internet it seems nothing is happening and then this story cropped up:

Pixie Lott has revealed that she may soon be starring in a West End production of Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell musical.

Posted in November 2009 this seems to be the latest and last news of this musicals development. Pixie Lott is obviously someone who with name value will make more people come to see the show and I hope she does join the cast if and when this show gets made.

So what do I think? Will it happen? Well one day I am sure it will, at the moment nothing is coming from Steinmans camp regarding dates, venues etc. However Meatloaf is huge in Europe and an album which sells 43 million worldwide is going to have a built in audience for a show. What about the content though? Can it be made into a piece of theatre? Of course it can, the lyrics themselves are very good in that they tell a story as qouted from blogcritics.org:

That was beautiful, man. Genius. See..he was telling a story. But set to music. It works on two levels! And you had to sing it just like Meatloaf, as if you were on a high school stage in the midst of some overwrought musical about love and loss and umm...motorcycle accidents.

They don't much like the album in retrospect but they make a very good point, this music is very angst ridden and proper teenage rock and roll with a bit of sex thrown in. The lyrics are classic in that they are perfect signifiers for teenage rebellion, motorcycles, summer, the beach, hell and beautiful women. In fact some of these songs today could get a resurgence, Bat Out Of Hell itself is still a huge number but with its original spoken opening 'You took the Words Right Out Of My Mouth' could appeal to the Twifans who are everywhere nowadays. However there is one song on the album that is very theatrical and is in my mind an 8 and a half minute piece of musical theatre.

'Paradise by the Dashboard Light' is a mega song that has 3 parts that I see as 3 seperate acts. The first act is a couple reminiscing about their most significant dates when they were younger. They sing about how 'hot' their love was and 'tender' and full of hope. Then in act two we go to the action heating up back in the past where they start getting physical in their relationship, the singing ends and a funky bass line kicks in with hushed moans playing underneath a baseball commentator who is commentating on a game but is actually making innuendo to the action between the boy and girl. The girl then issues an ultimatum to the boy that he promises to marry her and be with her forever or she will not take their physical relationship any further. He begs for time but she hounds him and he in a fit of lust and frustration agrees to her demands. In act 3 the boy, now a man regrets his choice and declares he is praying for the end of time so his promise is fulfilled. The girl agrees with him and joins in with his cries of praying for the relationship to end. The song finishes with them fading out as they focus on how good everything was between them before they got together physically and they foolishly entered into their destructive relationship. In my mind its like a Romantic tragedy and a powerful piece of musical theatre. I can imagine someone performing this as a duet in a musical revue but with a deeper context. This sort of writing proves that Steinmans work would work on stage. I just hope he does it sooner rather than later.

If anyone has any information regarding the Meatloaf musical please contact me or if you want to say anything then please leave your comments below.

Xtofer

Mainstream Improv!!! Weird Newscasters 1

Here is a quick blast from the past. One of my all time favourite tv shows 'Whose Line is It Anyway?' which is based on Keith Johnstone's Theatre Sports genre of improvised performances used to be shown on Channel 4 from the late 80s until early 2004. One of my favourite Improv games was 'Weird Newscasters' and here is one of those improvised sketches.

Watch this space for more information on Keith Johnstone and Theatre Sports coming soon!






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